Today I was watching Dr House and during the story something made me realize that I loved my exBf. I was always thinking that I stayed with him because of convenience (for 2.5 years), because he was my friend, because he was loving me, because I was feeling comfortable with him, and because he was accepting and liking many things about me. I thought "being accepted" was a good reason to love someone.
I also thought he was not good enough for me. He was not my type (not good looking), he was not butch, he was not agressively ambitious or aggresively something at all. Therefore he was not what I would call my lover or partner-and I never thought he would be that-but I loved him anyway-I know this sounds weird.
He was relaxed, interesting, happy, and simple. That s what I liked about him, even I was resisting to this idea. At that time that's what I needed from a partner, no complications, no mind games, no drama or passion. I thought he was emotionally plain because he wasnt putting attitude to his behaviour, to his feelings. I knew he was "feeling" but in a non-mediterrenean way, in other words without displaying any passionate mimics. He had nice romantic ideas, once he put rose petals from the lounge room to the backyard where he set up a dinner table with candles, following the petals would take me there. We had a fight one day and the evening he came up with flowers and found a chalk somewhere and wrote on the street (in front of the door), that I m the only one he loves. For my 30th birthday, I had a theme party and he chose to wear a big white shirt which he wrote with paint "happy birthday, love you", he made my birthday cards instead of buying them, he took me on road trips instead of tangible birthday gifts - because he liked to be spontaneous and surprise me. As I said he was doing these things naturally-without passion or attitude and without expecting me to show any appreciation. Maybe that s why it was so comfortable to be with him, a very low maintenance Aussie guy.
I feel good about writing these things and being able to say after six months that I loved him for those reasons-and they are not bad reasons at all.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
That was a very sweety post. It does sound like he loved you and here cared for you. You are lucky that you were loved and that you loved...many people do not experience that:)
nice story, nice post.
I was looking for Advise on breaking up and found this great site www.saveabreakup.com I gotta admit its great and it worked for me and helped me a lot.
Post a Comment