A saturday night out

I was at Manacle last night. I haven t been there before. In general I like the masculine leather themed bars and clubs. My favorite is the CockRing in Amsterdam. Last year I had a lot of fun there...the music, people and the ambience were amazing. I felt like I was in a movie as soon as I entered the bar, and going two levels down and reaching the main dancing area, there were these three muscly guys performing masturbation scenes on the stage. Well that works quite ok in Amsterdam and to be honest I was expecting a similar scene in Sydney. Manacle was quite down to earth, much more relaxed, yet still dark and leathery. With my friend we sat down at a table closer to the entrance where we can see people coming and going out. There were some really hot/masculine/ gorgeous guys around, and as usual older and ugly ones. Two guys entered and I know one's face so familiar, I said to him "I know you from somewhere" he stopped and looked at me, and said Hi, I am Jamie. My friend thought that was a pick up line, and congratulated me on this attempt. Then my friend's boyfriend arrived and after a while they got tired and maybe a bit bored, and they left.

There we go I am alone in the bar, I went upstairs and walked towards a guy and started talking to him. Then at the other corner I saw Jamie, and I smiled. He came up to me and said hi, and I said "that was not a pick up line I really remember your face". I started talking to him and another couple of his friends and in 10 minutes I was the centre of attention. I like that feeling and I become more comfortable, approachable, and entertaining. The conversation was flowing and I was really enjoying talking to this guy. He said he is a swimming coach at the pool I used to frequently go, so there we go- that s why I know his face, I ve seen him around three times a week.

I said I really wanted to dance, so we headed to Phoenix. It s been more than a year since I havent been there. It s got the similar leather type crowd there, and I always enjoy the music when I went there for dancing. We got in, we took out t-shirts off (I felt really weird cause I hadnt done this for long time in parties - but my efforts with my diet and the exercise program helped me out to feel more confident taking my tshirt off). Then I got into mood started dancing, and kissing and drinking, and really had good time. Jamie is a good kisser, he s my height and and he has a toned body, so when we danced together in close contact it felt good- cause it s not the same when you dance with a taller guy. And also the way your partner moves your body is important in that type of dancing, the two has to fit, and move together. Anyway it was harmonious with the moves and touches and kisses, everything was near to perfect. Then I started drinking water and sobered up a bit, and it was already 4.30 am. Time to go to his place.

His apartment was amazing. A minimalist Bourke street apartment, with tasteful furniture - two highlights: a Noguchi coffe table, white Mies van der Rohe barcelona chairs (I think they were replicas). He had his paintings on the walls, he did a degree in arts (photogrpahy and painting) and had his exhibitions, still working as a freelance artist. He is a Rothko fan like me - cause he did an edgy replication of a blue Rothko painting (he will be surprised when he comes to my place and sees my Rothko paintings- well I did not tell him straight away- mystery is good!) I commented on his artworks (all positive ones), I acknowledged his designer furniture, and he was surprised about how much I know about art and design. All good impressions before we went to the bedroom.

He had a Japanese style and very tidy bed with beatiful sheets (again double plus from me) and more of his paintings in his room. More chatting aobut the paintings and then going into bed. I was feeling so tired and was ready to sleep. He was not. 5.30 am and I realized that I was not really attracted to this guy. I was out of it. I never had problem with my libido, once I get naked with someone it all works out. I said 'I should go home', he asked me what was wrong and i did not really know what to say. That I was not really attracted to him? so why did I spend the whole night kissing him. I caught a cab and came back home thinking what s wrong with me? I used to sleep with guys without too much analysing it, Was I scared? was he too nice? Am I getting old and more picky? What stopped me having sex with this guy? too many questions still in my head, I slept nearly all day. I need to talk to my dating advisor ;))