Mr. dating advisor

Two weeks ago on a saturday night, I did not have the motivation to go out to a gay bar and I was a bit bored sitting at home. I searhced blogs with the google, the word combination gay and sydney, and I came up with the blog of "single in the city". I was so entertained reading it, it kept me busy al night. He writes stuff about gay scene, sex scene and other things that might concern a single gay man. the way he writes is honest and sweet. Sometimes he exeggerates the stuff but that s not a crime, since we gay men like to attract the attention.

Reading about one of his dates, I realized that he had so many dating experience and I did not. I thought maybe if I hang out with someone out there I might as well recollect my courage and flirtatious nature for dating gay men. That s how I decided to email him, asking for his help (although it sounds desperate) to give me some feedback and tips about my dating skills. He agreed to help me, since he does this as a community service, and on the condition that he is going to write aobut me on his blog. Again for the sake of sharing experiences amongst gay men. I agreed, because I like a bit of role playing, and any project about exploration of the self. With one of my friends we had a video project, where we went to a cafe, turned on the handycam and videotaped each other while we talked about the daily stuff. This was to see and analyse how we interact with people, what facial expressions and tones we use in different emotional states. Then we sat together and watched it and commented on each others' behaviour. That was useful for realizing how charming and attractive we could be once we feel comfortable with someone's company, hehe!

I met my dating advisor today. I have been looking forward to this meeting for a week, and I have been telling about him to all my friends, because it is an exciting project. He was 15 minutes late, because he fell asleep and nearly forgot about our so called "date". He emphasized that I had to confirm a day before by sms ing. I m pretty slack with confirmations, he was right. We met at Potts Point, the very gay and exclusive sburb of Sydney, and went to a little cafe, where boys hang out. I was pretty nervous because of being in the middle of the gay scene, I usually feel anxious about it that was one of the reasons why I moved to the beach, to be far from it. I always prefer to hang out at a beach cafe rather than a city one. He noticed that I was nervous and told me not to be nervous. What a weird situation, I smiled and nodded, and looked at the menu for so long without being able to read what was in there. Then he asked me about my story and I started telling him and felt more comfortable later.

I felt that he was a bit distant throughout the whole experience,trying to maintain the serious business relationship between us. This is really a business, we are not actually dating (Was I expecting something special? in the back of my mind yes -- but sleeping with him was never my intial motive to get in contact-- but I must confess, reading so much about him made me a bit attracted to him, all the stories he was telling were somewhat what I wanted to do when I moved to Sydney: Having a big fat gay life, being out there and flirting non-stop). When I finished my story he took on and talked about himself, talked about his job, his future plans, his circle of friends, his community service project, his times in US, and so on. He is pretty good at presenting a complete picture, and a balanced life of himself. He must be experienced in doing this, practice makes it better!

When I asked for his dating advice, his reply was quite balanced too: go out there and present your assets, things that make you different from others, get a balanced lifestyle between work and fun, individual and social times etc. and get dirty with someone to get over your boyfiend. Very good advice.

I told him that my aim was to make a gay friend, rather than taking advice, although I enjoyed taking the advice. And he said I could join the club. Let s see what happens. Today was my first effort to balance my life with some gay related activity. I started believing in the magic of the secret word balance, although I know it is hard to balance things out when we slave so much for our ambitions.