To my last entry, I ve got more comments than to any of my entries. Yes friends tell me it s ok not to want meaningless sex. But still I do not know how to deal with feeling desperate to have sex. I ve been looking at bodies more than ever, muscles, skin colors, vein details, every thing about a male body attracting my attention more than usual. I go to bed and think about sex, I wake up with a hard on and think about sex. It s more than usual, it s like an obsession, doesnt anyone feel like this? Seriously today I was walking towards the seminar room with a colleague of mine, and I was seeing the back of this guy with a tang top, and his large arms...I was not able to look at where I was going, my gaze was stuck. Then I realized I was walking towards him rather than the seminar room...it was embarassing :)) Well this desperation influences my approach to guys too. I cant be cool anymore, I get excited quickly and flirt stupidly more. That s not my usual practice and it feels weird.
I feel like I have to do something. I was thinking how that happened in Chicago. My friend took me to Eagle (the famous leather bar) and we took our clothes off and put them in a plastic bag and started walking around with undies on. This guy with a gorgeous body said something to me in the dark, I started touching him, and then it was all smooth and comfortable. It was a fantastic experience, I felt so pumped up the next day, felt so happy, so energized. When the anonymous sex is a positive experience it may have an amazing effect, it s better than drugs, it s natural and fun. Well I know not all attempts end like that one, but even fantasising about it makes me feel good. Enought about sex.
My flatmate is moving out on 11th, Saturday so I have to find a new one. Because I m gonna be in Melbourne that weekend, I am interviewing people during this week. So many people call because people wanna live in Bondi as summer is approaching. I ve met so many interesting characters and listened to stories. When they start to talk, they talk for an hour. I think I trigger them as well, they start telling about the problems they ve been having, relationships, jobs, girlfriends etc. When they talk too much, I start thinking that "it s not gonna be easy with this person". I ll see more on friday and finally make my decision. Then I ve got my NLP training on the weekend, the last two sessions. Saturday session is going to be about sex and relationships, I am looking forward to it. This is cyclical, my thoughts come back to sex one way or the other. I d better shut up.
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2 comments:
Man after reading your entry today I'm feeling honry too..sex..sex..and more sex. There is nothing wrong with anonymous casual sex..as long as you know that is what it is....
it can get complicated when you do not know that it is just sex.
The good thing about having a boyfriend is that you can always have sex and it feels very special.
There's nothing wrong with being horny and wanting to have sex, I think all we were saying in your last post is that I think you would enjoy sex more if it was with someone you liked or loved! wanting to have it off with the hot guy in the tank top is perfectly exceptable! ;-)
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