the day and dad

Walked down to the beach today. It was a warm morning. I walked to North Bondi and back, very relaxing. not so warm to swim yet. Came back home checked a few emails, then cycled to the gym. I did a 75 min workout. My trainer added a stretching session to the end, so it takes longer now. Cycled back home. Called HP to ask whne they re going to deliver my laptop, it will take them another week, cause they had to order a new system board form US. They never keep their promise, this was supposed to be finished yesterday. I talked to the supervizor, she promised she d call me in half an hour, she didnt. I called her back in 1 hour, and said
Me: You said you were going to call me in half an hour
Her: yeah I talked to the hardware store, they had to order it ...bla bla
Does she ever acknowledge that she did not keepher promise? she was supposed to keep their promise...I can worry myself all day with how people are loose, but this only drives me crazy. When the work is finished they re going to return my laptop anyway, can I do anything else to speed up the process? No. So stop being angry. I realize that I felt angry with these HP people all morning, I ruined my morning.

In the arvo, I came from gym, had chicken and brown rice. Liz came to help me to take my e-piano to the repair shop. The sound stopped all of a sudden. It s an old Yamaha, if they would charge a lot to fix it, I might as well forget about it.
Then I went to Woolworths, bought soy milk. For the last four days I ve been drinking my protein shake with water- which does not taste very good. because I thought there was no soy milk inthe fridge. I was placing the soy milk on the shelf, and I saw that there was already one soy milk in the fridge. How did I not see it for the last four days?

Then I cooked for the next couple of days. Because I will be doing the full day NLP training for the weekend, and wont have time to cook, clean etc. I had a salad an hour ago, talked to my sister on msn, talked to mum later on, and finally my dad. I ask dad how he is
Him: good...(silence)
Me: is everything going well with your work
Him: yeah going well...(silence)
Me:...(silence)
Him:...(silence)
Me: Any tourists in the hotel?
Him: yeah it has been raining for the last two days, too much work for us. the rain brings the sand from the beach. I coordinate people to tidy up.
Me: Ok...(silence)
Him: Did you talk to your mum and sister?
Me: yeah (silence)
Me: Ok i ve gotta go.

I wish I could talk about R2 and ask him whether I have daddy issues? He knows I m gay, but he doesnt wanna talk about it. We wrote letters to each other, the letters had more content, more emotions, and thoughts. other times not much of those. The letters hurt me. He left a letter in my drawer when he discovered that I am gay. He never talked to me about it. two years ago I ve sent one, and he sent one, saying that he loves me, but that he is really upset about me being gay. That letter still hurts. I rationalize these thoughts, emotions and find a lighter side of the whole thing, but it does not make my relationship with him better. We did not really have one, and I do not have motivation to make it better. I want him to ask me how it feels and be ready to listen to me. However I am not sure if I have the courage to tell him how I feel about him. That would only make him more upset. Why not leave it?