Mr R2

R2 came to my place on sunday. We spent 2 hours talking, and ended up kissing and kissing. It was nice. R2 invited me to dinner at his house for Wednesday. today he called me and asked whether I wanted to go to a meditation lecture.
Me: Yeah lets go and see it. Is the dinner still on?
Him: Noo i wasn't organized to cook, maybe we ll do it another day.
Me: hmm ok.

Then I hang up and started to think. So I wont see his place, I wont have a nice dinner with him, I wont have the chance to be more intimate. What s going on? I could not help thinking that he avoided the meeting/ dinner at his place, and brought this alternative instead. I was excited about getting closer to him, but he kind of resists, that is how I feel anyway. Maybe I am only attracted to this resistance which he performs very naturally and probably not intentionally. Maybe I feel like I am never going to be his number one/ priority in his life, and that s what I am attracted to. What a shame.

I wrote to Single Guy, and told him how I feel. He said be honest about how you feel, did you tell him how you feel about this? I decided to call R2.
Me: Ok. we talked about being honest about feelings. Here s how i feel. I liked the idea of having dinner with you, instead of going to a lecture. I thought this was a date. I need to make clear that I like you, and I wanna know you more, and be closer to you. This is only to communicate to you where I stand and I would like to know where you stand.
Him: I dont know you, I do not know you enough to say that I want to be intimate with you. I think we can become friends first, intimacy comes later.
Me: Well I do not sleep with my friends. Is that what you want? to be friends?
Him: yeah. I cannot tell you at this stage that I want a commitment or an affair with you
Me: I cant tell it either, but there usually is a feeling, when you like someone, you wanna know that person more. I want to know you more. and when I see you next time I wanna kiss you again.
Him: Yeah sunday night, it was a bit too quick.
Me: you mean the kissing? was too quick
Him: yeah. It all happened that way. I do not know you that well. I do not want to make a quick decision that will put me into an uncomfortable relationship, or that will hurt me or hurt you.
Me: Fair enough. I feel stronger towards you than you feel towards me. it is good to know. at least I know where I am standing.

the conversation went on for a while, but all I heard from him was that he wants to take things slow and wants a friendship etc. etc. At some point he also said I m too young for him. (I was thinking there we go, I thought about the same thing, that he is maybe too old for me). the conversation did not end with happy note. I am dissapointed because I had expectations. He was confused or not ready to meet my expectations at this stage. So once more I am dissapointed. Looking at the lighter side of it, I am still who I am, I laid everything on table (as I do with everyone), if he does not want to take it, I can move on. I will not lower my expectations, as liz says: I d rather die alone. I will keep on looking for someone who feels and reacts as quick as I do. thinking more than 80 percent of the population is not as quick and analytic as I am, my chances are low, but who know? Single Guy found someone, and that gives me a hope :))