Thesis and lunch with boys

I ve been finalizing my thesis. I can only do it on the weekends, because I work full time now. This whole PhD and research environment is about being able to take criticism. Spending four years on a project, owning it, working for it, defending ideas, learning more and more about the core of the subject matter makes someone attached to it. The project somehow becomes personalized. Then writing the thesis. it almost feels like giving birth to something, so the whole experience becomes more personalized. Then the thesis was examined by some experts, and they got back to me with pages of corrections/ objections and also with some supportive comments. To take the criticisms is the hard bit. Spending months on writing that book and then reading a report that says conceptualization of the topic is weak, claims are bold, there is an overly detailed analysis, correct this bit, change that bit etc etc. This is how it works, the whole research environment. I think I do the same when I am asked to review a paper, I criticise it a lot if I can. Maybe It is a bit egotistic. It feels powerful.

So for the last two weeks I ve been trying to digest what has been said about my thesis and taking the constructive comments to build a better one. I think research is mostly about re-building. Today I finished making the amendmends, so I feel lighter and happier compared to last weekend.

I had lunch with the boys at Bondi, and then we walked along the corso. The beach was pretty full, it was like a day of summer, beatiful bodies started showing off again. I was watching Leo today, there is something I like about him: he s open and spontaneous, he does not think too much when he talks and I find it refreshing. I like David because he is always nice and calm, he looks into people's eyes when he talks to them, that is refreshing too. I like my Dating advisor because he is controlled, he does not drop his guard down, he knows he should perform when he is on stage and he does it naturally and enjoys it at the same time. I respect him because he created himself as a good actor in life and he never gives up on his performance- that is who he is.

that s all for today