NYE without the Turk

Meeting with the Turk was abit weird at the start, until I drank two beers and relaxed a bit. We walked for hours; The Rocks, Botanical Gardens and ended up at the Tilbury to have lunch and beers. Through our trip he told me how he finally decided to come back to Australia, what his dreams are about living in Sydney, what he s planning to do etc. I like the life vision he told me, then I felt more in tune with him. Drinking our beers I talked about myself and felt really comfortable with him. At some stage I realized he was looking at me with that expression in his face : I really like yu. And what have I done? I said dont look at me like that, and went to toilet. Why am I so difficult sometimes? Why does it take sooo long for me to trust someone?
We laid down on the grass and talked about Turkey, then I invited him to my place to watch Little Britain, cause he s never seen it. He loved it. that s a good sign. He put his head on my lap, meanwhile I was biting my skin around my finger, he took my hand and held it in his hand. everytime i started to bite my finger he did the same, that was cute :) I did not suggets he could stay over, we caught a bus back to the city and he caught his train back to one of the far south west sburbs, where he is staying at the moment.
Next day I called him and said that I would love to spend the NYE night with him at some stage, if he could change his plans. He said he should talk this girl who has been planning his arrival and their NYE night for months. In the evening he said he could not make it, could not leave her alone at any stage. I was already very drunk and emotional, so I did not take this very rationally. I was upset...quite upset that he did not change his plans. I even sms ed him saying that you can come at 5am in the morning. The answer was NO because that they were gonna stay at someone's place bla bla bla. "No he does not really care about me", if he cant change the his plans. IT is so simple for me, I do what I want, I just have to tell those people around me and they d be ok (unless they re codependents or alcoholics). This girl loves him so much, that he did not want to hurt her feelings. She planned it, wanted to be perfect etc etc. What a drama.
The next day I woke up feeling upset again, feeling rejected and abondoned. We started sms in each other again in the afternoon, he said he could not have done it the other way, I said that I was not convinced but let s move on. I am becoming a psycho whenever I m trying to start to have a relationship with this Turk. I feel too much, I repress too much, get angry too much, everything is amplified - and for no reason. I just find it difficult to understand why he cant be with me, I want him all the time, I want to be his priority. Definetly it s mad.