in Istanbul

Saturday 5.15 in the morning, I got on the bus, without sleep and still thinking about the Turkish boy I slept with. He had strong triceps and chest, and to me it feels better to hold a stronger man. I am gald that the gym concept has become popular in every gay culture, Europe, US or Turkey, so that gay boys all want to become toned/muscly. I went to 2 most popular gay clubs in Istanbul, Love which is very European and with Lots of attitude, and Tek Yon (means One Way) a more relaxed place which accomodates all kinds and ages of Turkish men. Tek Yon is hard to find, it is hidden on one of the back streets of Beyoglu, but it was easy to notice when we got closer, the little street was full men hanging out together. it is really an interesting place, truck drivers kissing each other, hairy and fat men dancing on the stage, a couple of really gorgeous Russian boys picking up some Turks with a moustache, guys of age 50-65, muscly Turkish studs, construction workers, Mafia looks, tansvestites, married men, divorced men, curious and horny straight men, bisexual men, rent boys, and really youg rent boys who look like 15. All in one club. When we entered the club the waiters came and ask if we would like to have a table? that was so weird, but it is so Turkish, some men like to sit on leather couches by the table and would like to be served while everyone dances like crazy. The place is so crowded that noone can reach the bar. So there are those waiter boys wandering around asking people what they d like to drink and bringing their drinks to them. So all you have to do is order and pay the waiter when he comes back...what a luxury. Service is always so good in Turkey, there are always more than one waiter serving for the same table in even moderate restaurants. I could not stop watching one guy in Tek Yon, I was totally amazed by the beauty of that Turk. He was the ultimate example of a hot original Turkish look, very dark hair and dark eyes, a bit of chest hair, beefy and sexy. I guess I watched him too long my friend had to distract me. He was dancing with another really masculine guy (the truck driver type), so I had to give up. An athletic guy with beatiful green eyes, fair hair was standing next to me, I checked him out, he looked like the models in a Milano fashion show, he was wearing a pair of hot blue satin shorts (which showed his beatiful muscly legs), a big silver necklace, a singlet and boots, that was it. I said to him, nice shorts and he said thanks, he was obviously not Turkish. Then a short, mafia looking guy came and picked him up, he was looking at me in an aggresive way, obviously because I talked to his boy, after a while they left the bar together. I saw my friend kissing a cute guy, then he came up to me and said he wants to go home with him. I said fine. I was thinking He met him 2 minutes ago - boys are like fast consumer products, they start kissing when they see each other, I saw too many gay guys kissing at the bars/ clubs, unlike Australia where kissing is not really a public act. my friend said that I might have difficulty in finding the apartment so he took me out and showed me which street to go, then he went back to Tek Yon. I was already so tired and exhausted and it was 4 am (Sunday), so I went to sleep.

I stayed with Suhayip in Istanbul, I know him for about 10 years now. We were at the same Uni, he was doing modern dance I was composing music for a coreography and that was how we met. I did not know he was gay then, a couple of years later I figured it out, and we did not become close until we started doing the same master program. We started spending more time together, I played music for his coreography, we went on holidays, movies, had dinner and lunch together, even at some point he suggested we could share the same apartment- but I was scared then, because I realized I was attracted to this guy, and he was only considering me as a close gay friend. We were also a member of an activist gay group, where we used to get together and tell each other about coming out stories, read some gay/lesbian articles in English and discuss them, organize parties for increasing awareness of gay men/women to each other in Ankara, and also meet some more in the closet guys and bring them out. We shared the same circle of friends for a long time, so Suhayip is one my friends who never has an expiry date : )

Leaving Ankara early in the morning I was in Istanbul before noon, I went to Suhayip's place and had breakfast. He lives in an apartment in a historical area full of character, in one of the earliest buildings in Beyoglu. He s got a secret garden view from his bedroom window which is quite exceptional for Beyoglu apartments. I slept for an hour, then we went out to have lunch. He invited a guy to introduce him to me- there was a debate on whether he is gay or not, this guy is cute, my height, built body, lots of style, confident self image and attention to details, besides he is an actor, dancer and a musician. I found him really attractive, if I would have a BF that would be him, the sad thing is I dont think he s gay. We strated chatting, and I learned that he lived in Melbourne for a year or two and then decided to come back to Istanbul. What is all this story about attractive Turks I met, that they have a connection with Australia? He said he may visit Melbourne in November and HE took my OZ number, so all I can do is, hope we might meet again :)

After Lunch (well it was 5pm) we went to see the whirling dervishes, the ceremony took place in a Dergah in Galatasaray, close to where we stay. It was so hot and humid, and no air-conditioning inside, they charge 25 bucks because it s a tourist attraction, and still no AC, it s a shame. The ceremony was so hypnotizing, both the whirling moves, the ambience and the music, so that was an interesting experience for me. Then we went to have a drink and then for shopping and then for dinner, and it was almost time to go out. Dressed up, had couple of glasses of wine to relax, and off we go, to Barbahce, one of the earliest gay bars in Istanbul. Still very good ambience and music. The bartenders are amazingly hot, they show French Rugby players on TVs, the music is uplifting, the crowd is very stylish and cute, and one vodka-soda is 17 AUD. The prices in Istanbul are unbelievable. Plus I had to pay entry fee to each gay club (something around 20 bucks). I dont know how people can afford entertainment every week in Istanbul, considering that the economy is all fucked up anyway. I saw a couple faces I knew, I talked to them, heard their stories, I met a Russian guy who lives in London - he said he s been with 10 people for the last 10 days, good score Good on ya mate. Then we went to Love, the upmarket gay club (very pricey again), where every gay tourist has to go. Lots of cuties in their 20's, amazing bartenders, straight boys and girls (I dont really understand why they go to a gay club, but I think it must be fashionable to dance with gay boys on stage), and too much attitude (something like in Stonewall). After a couple of hours we got so bored of the attitude and left there (people go there just to show up, and then the cute ones leave early, the place is like the "look at me I m here" place rather than a pick up venue). Tek yon is definetely a pick up venue, and when we went there I could smell the testosterone, a bit of sweat with after shave, and this touchy feeling with everyone, and kissing couples everwhere, really active and on the spot.

Suhayip came home around 9am in the morning, he did not want to sleep, but wanted to have breakfast with me...how cute!. We went to the Galata biridge, sat in a cafe under the bridge looking towards the harbour, shining water, fishing boats, and ferry boats, having fresh feta cheese, tomatoes, olives and cucumbers with plenty of fresh white bread, that is the typical Turkish breakfast. Later on we went to shopping again, because Suhayip needed a make-over. There was one big shopping centre which sells outlet stuff, you can find lots of brands there like TopMAn, Ted baker, G-Star, Levis, D&G for less than half price. So we spent half day there and I ended up buying enough denims and shirts to last for a year. I need to empty my wardrobe when I go back to Sydney to create for the new stuff. Suhayip did the same, he doesnt need to shop at least for a year.

So my Istanbul trip was really efficient in terms of shopping and catching up with friends and getting to know the gay life in Istanbul. I flew back to Antalya and had a 12 hour sleep. My family booked a room in a 5 star resort for 3 days, and we have been chilling out here since yesterday. Lots of food and alcohol (all inclusive- people eat every two hours here), lots of tourists, pool, beach, games, discotech, sauna, massage, fitness, Thalasso, all facilities included- it is crazy, it is non-stop consumerism, but it feels really good. I can live here for 3 months. I ve gotta go and sunbake myself now.